Author: TimSchneider

Its Not What You Know

  By ,

Effective Leadership is About the People You Lead

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did but people will never forget how you made them feel.”      Maya Angelou

•  Effective leadership requires emotional intelligence.
•  People will remember how you make them feel.
•  Emotions drive attitudes and beliefs. Attitudes and beliefs drive behavior.

By Teresa Lowry

You are ready to debate me, aren’t you? You are saying to yourself: Of course, it’s what I know that matters! Here it is: Your education and your technical expertise will only carry you so far. If you want to be an effective leader you must have good emotional intelligence.

Let’s say you have a cause, mission or issue that is important to you that you are passionate about. Maybe it is Hurricane Relief, Mental Health Reform, Veterans Health Care, Preventing Animal Cruelty. You want people to join you. You need them to follow you and act. You need their time, talent and treasure. How do you as a leader inspire people to show up for you, answer your call and be there when you need them?

Make an Emotional Connection to a Shared Vision

There you are at your headquarters prepared with all the statistics, data and real-life stories about your cause. This is an important step to complete. And yet you are sitting there all alone. Ok, your two best friends showed up. We love our BFF’s and they’ll do anything to help us out. But it’s going to take more than two people to have a meaningful impact.

You want to be a leader on this issue. You want people to follow you. You need people to show up for you. To do this you have to connect with them on an emotional level. It’s not going to be what you know. Your influence as a leader will be based on your emotional intelligence which includes your communication skills and ability to create relationship depth with the people you want to lead.

Leadership is about connecting with people. Your success is going to depend on your ability to connect with and influence people. This is accomplished through building relationships. Lasting relationships require constant communication and emotional intelligence. Daniel Goleman in his book “Emotional Intelligence” reminds us that when dealing with people you are not dealing with logic but rather with emotions. The emotional brain responds to an event more quickly than the thinking brain. When you communicate you want to make an emotional connection to a shared vision.

Communicate to Inspire Others

Each time you speak, your goal will be to leave your potential team members with a positive feeling and desire to communicate with you again. Communication should be in person. People will remember how you make them feel when you speak with them. Do you leave them feeling inspired and hopeful? Do you leave them feeling understood and important? People migrate to more positive and empathetic people. People stay more connected to positivity. Charisma and charm follow emotional positivity. By managing your emotional composition, you can cultivate charisma. LinkedIn CEO Jeff Weiner gets it when he says “a manager will tell someone what to do and a leader inspires them to do it”. Emotions drive attitudes and beliefs. Attitudes and beliefs drive behavior. Inspire people and you will move them to action on behalf of your shared mission and vision.

It’s Not About You

It goes without saying that you will know the name and some personal information about everyone you hope to have on your team. You should know their connection to your cause. When they tell you their story, listen attentively. Make them feel like the only person in the room. No looking at your phone, laptop or the door. Everyone has a story. Let people tell you why they want to work for your cause. For some of you the challenge will be to listen and not talk about yourself. For others, the challenge will be to open up and share something about yourself and make that heartfelt connection. Emotional intelligence is when you finally realize it’s not all about you. Your connection to your people will be emotional. Let them remember that you made them feel important, understood and optimistic.

Keep Them on the Team with Gratitude

Once you establish the shared connection to your cause and inspire people to follow your lead you want them to stay with you for the long haul. As you continue to share their stories, listen to them and make them feel valued you will see a high degree of success. To keep them showing up will also require large doses of appreciation and gratitude. Praise them. Often and sincerely. “Don’t forget. A person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.” H. Jackson Brown understood this. I think you all ready knew this because you know how good you feel when someone appreciates you.

Now go connect, inspire and lead well. From me to you: Thank you in advance for making the world a better place.

Teresa Lowry is a passionate advocate for learning, growth and generating real organizational change.
Fueling that passion are exceptional communication abilities, a great training room presence and the ability to connect with people successfully in mentoring and coaching. Personally, Teresa enjoys serving on several community boards, volunteering with non-profit community groups and, along with her husband, you will find her in the gym every morning working out and training for distance and obstacle races.

Leading Edge – Volume 34 – Mentoring: Summary and Conclusion

  By

Focus on Mentoring-Summary and Conclusion

  • Aegis Learning facilitator Matt Zobrist continues his series on mentoring.
  • The mentoring focus must always remain on the benefits to the person being mentored and his or her needs.
  • Communication is key along with building strong, trusting relationships.
  • Successful mentoring will provide organizational benefit, value to the mentee and build a legacy for the mentor.Beginning next week, a new series,

    Dealing with Difficult People

    debuts featuring Tim Schneider. After that, we will be breaking some new ground with Relational Intelligence. Aegis Learning is committed to provide useable and valuable information to our customers and friends.

 

More Articles

Aegis Learning Edge is in Impact, Value and Results
  • Rise! by Tim Schneider
  • Everything DiSC Catalyst Online Learning from Aegis Learning
  • A Heart for Leadership by Tim Schneider

Leading Edge – Volume 33 – Mentoring: Overcoming Obstacles

  By

Focus on Mentoring-Overcoming Obstacles

  • Aegis Learning facilitator Matt Zobrist continues his series on mentoring.
  • The most common obstacle to mentoring is a perceived lack of time. Prioritizing the mentoring process and remembering the long-term value is important to overcome this challenge.
  • Unrealistic expectations for both behavioral change and timeline can also be common challenges.
  • Working in partnership between the mentor and mentee will ensure that obstacles and challenges are easily overcome.
  • Successful mentoring requires an incremental view of growth and not a giant, singular leap forward.
 

More Articles

Aegis Learning Edge is in Impact, Value and Results
  • Rise! by Tim Schneider
  • Everything DiSC Catalyst Online Learning from Aegis Learning
  • A Heart for Leadership by Tim Schneider

Signs that Heart/Emotional Work is Needed

  By , ,

Unlocking a Heart for Leadership

This is a multi-part series of excerpts from Unlocking a Heart for Leadership, a soon to be released book by Tim Schneider.  This book and series examines the powerful methods to add heart based (affective/feeling) approaches to your leadership and life.  An unlocked heart is the third facet of full leadership and personal realization.  

Symptoms Telling Us We Need Heart Work

“The only thing greater than the power of the mind is the courage of the heart” John Nash

Our world gives us plenty of clues when it is necessary and time to work on unlocking emotional and heart power. Some of those clues are right-between-the-eyes blunt force and some are a bit subtler. Examine these and see where you are at and see if there is indeed work to be done to unlock your heart.

• Stuck in a low-level motivation (more on that later in this section)
• Operating from fears (more on that as well)
• Anxiety and edginess
• Frequent use of sarcasm or snarky comments
• Need to be the center of attention often or always
• Lack of focus or persistence with tasks and projects
• Lack of physical energy or a drained feeling
• Avoidance of conflict
• Strained relationships at work or in your personal life
• Procrastination and avoidance
• Reluctance to or fighting of change
• Inability to sustain the use of new skills or approaches
• Low general demeanor or surliness towards work and people at work
• Stressed out
• Negativity and pessimism for the future
• Poor, snappy or edgy verbal tone
• Dour and sour facial expressions
• Lack of genuine human empathy
• Overly judgmental of others
• Isolation from others or activities you enjoy
• Blaming others for challenges and failures

There is also a need to look at the recurring patterns in your life. Things like these point to a need to tap into the energy of your heart and emotions:

• Repeated failures in business or bouncing from one career path to another frequently
• Easily disenfranchised with organizations and people
• Novelty of new things wears off quickly
• Complaints from team members that have similar themes
• Trying to change others to adapt to you
• Trail of relationship casualty and failed interpersonal relationships

None of these are devastating by themselves and we all certainly spend time in these spots from time to time. The one thing to watch for is frequent occurrences of these symptoms and how long they last. When they occur regularly, it is time to unlock the power of your heart.

Motivationally Stuck

Dr. Abraham Maslow’s groundbreaking and baseline work on human motivation describes five levels of needs. This Hierarchy of Needs demonstrated that lower level needs must be satisfied first before higher tier needs can be met. As a person moves up the pyramid of needs, their motivation increases until they reach self-actualization. This stage is the highest level of motivation and all lower level needs, physiological, security, social, and self-esteem are being met. Quite simply, the more needs are being met, the higher the motivation until pinnacle is achieved.

So, what happens when someone is stuck in a lower level plateau and doesn’t rise? Their motivation levels cap off at that level as well. Think of this example:

A person is constantly straining against their resources to make ends meet. There is consistent worry and pessimism about the ability to pay bills and ever live in abundance or have discretionary spending ability.

In this example, being motivationally stuck in physiological needs will have a dramatic impact on this person’s ability to achieve more in life. When constantly worrying about money, opportunity will be passed by, relationships will be strained, self-esteem will suffer and the heart of this person will become tainted on money. Their brain will follow suit and this person will openly obsess about money, accumulation of things, and savings.

One example that we tend to hear a great deal in organizations related to being stuck on security needs:

Someone is always talking about the number of years until the retirement account will pay them what they think they need to survive in their senior years. Rather than looking forward to being able to make a difference, they are counting down to when the retirement savings will allow them some mystical security.

This stuck point can be devastating to effectiveness and has a significant adverse impact on motivations and the desire to change, move forward and thrive. This motivational stuck is all about just surviving another day, week, month or year.

Another example that becomes common:

The person that cannot do anything alone or be alone for more than two seconds. There is constant insecurity about people and a need to be connected to someone or groups of people all the time.

This example points to a deeply unmet social need (Maslow’s third tier) and by not being comfortable alone, they will never be able to achieve comfort with others and truly meaningful relationships.

Looking for Stuck Points

We all get stuck momentarily and there is certainly nothing wrong with twice a month fretting a bit about where paychecks went or spending a bit of time being lonely or even wondering about what the future may bring. All normal little stops for our brain and emotional composition.

Where motivational stuck becomes dangerous is when we spend a bunch of our time and energy there. Look at, and get feedback about what you talk about or even obsess about. Really think about where you are motivationally and strive always to seek the next level on the pyramid.

By Tim Schneider

Tim Schneider is the founder of Aegis Learning and has been working with teams and leaders for 25 years.   He generates results, impact and his sole focus is your success.

He is the author of The Ten Competencies of Outstanding Leadership and Beyond Engagement and a widely sought speaker, training facilitator and individual development coach.

Leading Edge – Volume 31 – Mentoring: Skills to Mentor

  By

Focus on Mentoring-Skills for Mentoring Success

  • Aegis Learning facilitator Matt Zobrist continues his series on mentoring.
  • Successful mentoring requires a unique combination of skills and the situational awareness of when to use particular skills with a mentee.
  • Effective communication, including hefty doses of listening are paramount to becoming a great mentor. Being clear in communication is also a must.
  • Encouragement type coaching is important to celebrate the successes and incremental improvement of mentees.
  • The emotional intelligence skill of empathy plays a significant role in mentor success.
  • Being or becoming a good storyteller will also serve the mentoring process well.
 

More Articles

Aegis Learning Edge is in Impact, Value and Results
  • Rise! by Tim Schneider
  • Everything DiSC Catalyst Online Learning from Aegis Learning
  • A Heart for Leadership by Tim Schneider

Leading Edge – Volume 30 – Mentoring: Becoming a Great Mentor

  By

Focus on Mentoring-Becoming a Great Mentor

 
  • Aegis Learning facilitator Matt Zobrist continues his series on mentoring.
  • The mentoring relationship should be solid, deep and built on vulnerable trust.
  • Sharing challenges is an important part of the mentoring relationship.
  • The mentor should always examine motivations to ensure the best interests of the mentee are being served.

More Articles

Aegis Learning Edge is in Impact, Value and Results
  • Rise! by Tim Schneider
  • Everything DiSC Catalyst Online Learning from Aegis Learning
  • A Heart for Leadership by Tim Schneider

Leading Edge – Volume 30 – Mentoring: Framework for Growth

  By

Focus on Mentoring-Framework and Choosing Candidates

 
  • Aegis Learning facilitator Matt Zobrist continues his series on mentoring.
  • Successful mentoring clearly documents the objectives and desired outcomes of the relationship.
  • A formalized approach to scheduling is needed for long-term success.
  • Journaling meetings and interactions aids in the learning and growth process.
  • Mentoring relationships should be chosen carefully for mutual benefit, fit and the ability to communicate effectively.

More Articles

Aegis Learning Edge is in Impact, Value and Results
  • Rise! by Tim Schneider
  • Everything DiSC Catalyst Online Learning from Aegis Learning
  • A Heart for Leadership by Tim Schneider

The Yin and Yang of Organizational Performance

  By , ,

Develop a Balance Between People and Process for Success

Leadership, Customers, Strategy, Knowledge Management, Workforce and Operations are the primary components of an organizational management system (The Baldridge Performance Framework). The approach, deployment and integration of these components vary greatly from business to business. Take a moment and think about what these components look like in your organization, and how (or if) they work together.

In Chinese philosophy, Yin and Yang describes how seemingly opposite forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent. The components of the Yin and Yang represent perfect balance. If we apply the Yin and Yang approach to our management system, the components will be divided into two primary categories: People and Processes.

Processes (Yin)
• Strategy
• Knowledge Management
• Operations

People (Yang)
• Leadership
• Workforce
• Customers

But are both “sides” of the management system considered equally? As a Lean Six Sigma Black Belt, I was taught that processes should be the focus because they comprise around 80-85% of organizational problems. But if you don’t hire and train people correctly…or you don’t have the right leadership in place to guide those people…or if don’t know what makes your customers are happy, all your focus on process is for naught and the “balance” of your organization will be off. And, conversely, if you are only focusing on people and not integrating and improving your processes, the organization will not have structure and controls and, therefore, never be able to achieve its goals and objectives.

Many business cultures and leaders choose one side or the other of the Yin and Yang to focus on. They are either “touchy-feely” and focused on the “people” aspects, or they are extremely policy and procedure driven and focus on the “process” aspects. Some folks are more comfortable with structure and others are more comfortable with what I like to call “the feels”.

The Yin and Yang of Organizational Performance helps us visualize and remember that people and processes are interconnected and, therefore, both “sides” should be a priority. It’s a “50/50”, balanced proposition that will help improves organizational performance. Only when leaders focus on ALL six components of the system (Leadership, Customers, Strategy, Knowledge Management, Workforce and Operations) can they truly begin to improve. And the better these systems function and integrate with one another, the more high-performing an organization will become.

Polly Walker is a talented facilitator, coach and expert in process improvement.  As the chief innovation officer for Aegis Learning, Polly produces many of the new ideas and creative solutions for workplace learning programs and their delivery.

Ms. Walker has two master’s degrees and has worked with some of the biggest client projects for Aegis Learning.  She is also our Townie and constantly optimistic.

Freedom Through Forgiveness (Part 2)

  By , ,

Unlocking a Heart for Leadership

This is a multi-part series of excerpts from Unlocking a Heart for Leadership, a soon to be released book by Tim Schneider.  This book and series examines the powerful methods to add heart based (affective/feeling) approaches to your leadership and life.  An unlocked heart is the third facet of full leadership and personal realization.  

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”  Mahatma Gandhi

Who and What to Forgive

Showing my age, I remember Schoolhouse Rock on Saturday mornings. A noun is a people, place or thing. Similarly, forgiveness eligibility has the same dynamic. It can be a person, event or yourself.

The easiest to identify population in which to grant forgiveness is other people. Someone does you wrong, they become eligible for forgiveness. This becomes the straightforward process of connecting a hurt to the person inflicting hurt. Angry because you had to correct mistakes of another team member is simple to connect to that team member. Upset because your spouse barked at you can be pinned directly on him or her. Anyone that you attribute wrong or hurt to should be considered for forgiveness.

Events should also be forgiven. These are those times and situations in our lives in which things went wrong. We learned the lessons, hopefully not repeating any of them and now is the time to forgive and move forward in full heart and emotional health. Examples of event forgiveness includes blocks of work and career time, stretches of personal relationships and even single choices made by you or others. Stop talking regret and grant freeing forgiveness.

The hardest forgiveness to grant will be to you. That’s right. Forgiving yourself for your mistakes, poor choices and events in which you were responsible. Many people can grant real forgiveness to others easily but yet hold deep frustrations, regrets, disappointments and worse about themselves. Yes, you caused something bad. You paid the price. Now is time to forgive yourself and get this ugly, caked mud off your heart.

First Time Clearing

The first clearing of past wrongs, including your own, will be the most difficult. Some of these people and event have been living on your heart and influencing your actions for years or even decades. This first event will not be easy and it will not be quick. Depending on the depth of hurt and wrong, you may have to go back and re-forgive a couple of times to truly have it cleared.

As a practice, use this process the first time around:

1. Note three to five people or situations that you need to forgive in your journal.

2. Leave the list alone for a couple of days.

3. Include thoughts of who has wronged you, what dragging baggage you are carrying around, and any situations which still bring you pain or angst, in your daily meditation. Let the thoughts flow freely to you in this setting.

4. Examine the list a second time and add another three to five people or situations that need clearing forgiveness. Ensure that at least two and hopefully more of these are forgiveness of self.

5. Leave the list alone for another couple of days.

6. Take a final look at the list and ensure you have most of who and what needs to be forgiven, including those things you need to grant yourself forgiveness.

7. Next to each item, list a date certain in which you will forgive that person or event or you and release the negativity associated with it. The first date should be within the next day and it should also be the simplest or easiest situation to forgive. The guy that cut you off in traffic and caused a minor irritation should be at the top of the list compared to complex life situations and people that have wronged you greatly. If you are not yet prepared to set a date for all items on your list, that is okay too. And some dates can be out there for a bit of time to allow yourself the reconciliation and readiness to let it go.

8. On the date listed, add the words of forgiveness to your daily meditation. In the simplest form, it would sound like “Today I forgive XXXXX and promise to never let this event influence me” or “Today I forgive XXXXX and promise this event will never influence me again”.

9. Congratulate yourself on this step. Be pleased with you. This is a big thing.

10. After your meditation, say the above aloud and cross it off your forgiveness list. Continue until the list is gone.

The Forgiveness Practice

Beyond the initial clearing described above, events and wrongs happen regularly and need to be forgiven. The quicker you can make the event/person-forgiveness cycle, the healthier your heart and emotional intelligence. With this junk cleared regularly and daily, the room for great emotions, attitude and energy is almost limitless.

During the quiet and clearing portion of your meditation, search for those people or situations that may be weighing on you. Repeat the action steps above and forgive quickly.

As this process becomes a habit, you will be able to grant forgiveness on the fly and make it a natural part of daily self-care.

By Tim Schneider

Tim Schneider is the founder of Aegis Learning and has been working with teams and leaders for 25 years.   He generates results, impact and his sole focus is your success.

He is the author of The Ten Competencies of Outstanding Leadership and Beyond Engagement and a widely sought speaker, training facilitator and individual development coach.